Inner Voice

I've been thinking a lot lately about my inner voice.  You know, the voice that speaks to you on the inside about what to say and what not to say when you are out in public.  I feel like I do pretty well keeping my inner voice under control because let’s face it, sometimes your inner voice wants to just let it fly like a kite that’s just broken free from it’s string.  Now don’t think that I'm crazy, but sometimes I have to “talk” to my inner voice and just tell it to calm down, it’s not worth it, don’t say anything, act like an adult, or walk away!  And then there are those moments when I lose the battle, my inner voice is taken over by my school teacher voice and then I can't be responsible for what happens next.

There are many times when I have been just minding my own business at the gym, grocery store, or other public arena and a situation simply gets the best of me.  Once when I was at the gym doing my thing (I am very unsocial and don't give people the time of day when I’m working out) these buffed adult men were sharing their immense knowledge of profanity that they had acquired in their many years of living.  I guess they thought that was the “manly” thing to do.  I listened quietly for a while to their ridiculous conversation spewing with obscenities and then it happened.  My inner voice had put up with the swearing too long and just couldn't be contained.  With my most assertive school teacher tone I gave the “men” a reprimand, letting them know that they were in the presence of a lady and to knock off the swearing.  They apologized profusely and now they always make a funny comment when they are talking around me AND they don't swear, mission accomplished.

Last week it happened again, the whole inner voice thing.  We were at Easton’s Fall middle school chorus concert.  It’s a pretty short concert, four songs total, lasting about 20 minutes tops!  During the last song, “Somebody to Love Me”, Easton had an amazing solo part that went through the entire musical number. 

I was doing my motherly duties videotaping his performance and watching at the same time.  Easton started the song and the choir joined shortly to accompany him and the other girl soloist.  Things were going well and he was doing awesome, with all the confidence of a true professional and then the battle of my inner voice started.  There were two adult ladies directly behind me having a conversation.  They were whispering but it really just sounded like two squawking crows.  As I continued to use my amazing video taping skills to record Easton, I was getting really angry.  My inner voice wanted to turn around and tell them to be quiet!  I tried to put up with their conversation, hoping they would eventually get a clue, find their concert manners and stop talking.  But alas, that didn’t happen and my inner voice won the battle.  It just really has a mind of its own….I quickly turned around (while the camera kept rolling) and gave them a stern sounding SHHHHHhhhhhhhhh!  Can you believe it, I was shushing adult women, my peers?!?  And it worked.  The talking ceased and I was able hear the end of Easton’s solo in peace.  The ladies didn't say a word the rest of the concert.  When it was over there was no eye contact made but hopefully the subtle reminder from one adult to another will be a lesson to them in the future.  And the battle with my inner voice continues.

Click on this link to hear Easton's incredible performance.  If you listen closely you might just hear my inner voice talking! (at 2:30)

http://youtu.be/hG8QwWP0Ex0